It happened again today. Like it does a lot. But after seven year I stumbled. Someone asked me how many kids I have and I didn’t quite know what to say.
I’ve written about this before and I’m sure I’ll write about it again. It’s something that I’ll forever question.
How do I reply?
Well, I’ve carried five babies full term. I’ve labored and delivered them. Held them in my arms and kissed their sweet little faces.
But one of them I had to give back – almost immediately.
In my heart I know he’s mine. Yet I can’t find him in my arms.
So I continue to occasionally hesitate.
There’s no easy way to quantify my family size. It will always be difficult.
And even though I have a good life and am incredibly happy, missing Luca is one thing that will always tug at my heart strings.
There will always be someone missing at our dinner table – someone special. Someone who I keep safely tucked into my heart, always.
I stumbled when replying earlier, but I want to spell it out on here: I am the proud mother of five beautiful babies. Five babies that I love with all my heart. Five babies that I can’t wait to live with forever. Five babies. Forever.
Boogers on the Wall 