Boogers on the Wall

Twist, pull, yank. Wiggle with tongue. Then pull, yank, twist.

I remember fiddling with my baby teeth until I ripped each of them out.

I would get them to where they were hanging by a single root then twist them completely around when “pop” they’d sever.

Wahoo! I had lost another one.

I liked pulling out my teeth. It was fun.

But my kids are terrified of it.

My oldest boys have both thrown giant fits when getting rid of their really loose pearly whites.

Just this week my second oldest son had a tooth hanging by a thread. It was turning reddish black as it filled up with blood while wobbling in this mouth.

It had been ready to pull out for weeks. He could flick it from side to side with his tongue. I’m pretty sure it had lost all its feeling and I was afraid he was going to swallow it in his sleep.

So we sat as a family in the bathroom Tuesday night cheering him on while he cried. We cheered, “Pull it, pull it, pull it,” until he finally caved and twisted it out.

This is just the most recent episode. We’ve sat in the bathroom with nearly lost teeth begging our kids to rip them out several times now. And they won’t let us touch them. They want to do it themselves. But they don’t want to do it. I can neither understand nor explain.

It’s crazy!

And what’s even crazier is that they want to KEEP their teeth. They have written the tooth fairy notes each time they have lost their teeth begging her to let them keep it.

I think it stems from a Super Why! episode where one of the main characters does the same. He doesn’t want to give his tooth away so he writes the tooth fairy begging to keep it.

That inspired my pack-rat natured offspring into doing the same.

So they set the tooth under their pillow with a note and cross their fingers that it – and a monetary prize – will be there in the morning.

Why you would want to keep a tiny, bloody, dead piece of yourself is beyond me. But the tooth fairy has obliged and so we have several baby teeth floating around in plastic sandwich bags in their keepsake drawers.

It’s weird. It’s just another thing I am going to have to get rid of during one of my dreaded de-cluttering rampages.

I think I am going to threaten to put the teeth into a homemade version of a Fuggler. Never heard of them? They are hilarious tooth-filled stuffed animal dolls. Sure they are made from FAKE teeth, but I am sure I could use my sons’ real teeth for the same affect.

Maybe if they see their own teeth in a creepy stuffed animal, it will inspire them to toss the other teeth when they are yanked.

Then again maybe that will keep them from ever wanting to pull out another tooth again!

I’ll be back in the bathroom begging on of them to, “Pull it, pull it pull it.”

Kids these days.