Boogers on the Wall

I may be the only American woman not excited to see more skin this summer.

Shorts, tanks and swimsuits keep shrinking and I keep cringing.

I get it. Women are more comfortable in their own skin. Skimpy shorts and bare minimum suits are all the rage these days for women of all shapes and sizes.

They aren’t afraid to flaunt what they got.

But that doesn’t mean I want to see what it is they think they got.

And I definitely don’t want my boys to see it.

It’s happened more than once. I have taken my boys to the beach or to a local pool. We are running around splashing and swimming when a neighboring swimmer nearly pops out of her top. I usually scramble and stutter trying to distract my boys from wide-eyed staring at the 90 percent naked female.

It makes me nervous. It makes me uncomfortable. And to be frank, it makes that woman look like an idiot.

I’m sick of worrying that my boys are going to see someone’s boobs.

I know scantily-clad’s on TV. I know its on magazine covers and billboards. I’m fighting the battle of naked women exposure each and every day in my own home as more and more risqué images creep onto the public, family-friendly television we choose to watch in our home.

But I can’t flip the channel or cut the power to the group of overly exposed women we run into who want to bare it all at the beach or pool.

The current trend seems to be to thank these women for showing their skin and praise them for their courage and confidence.

I don’t care what shape or size you are I will not thank you for wearing itty, bitty swimwear.

Let me make one thing clear, you will never hear me talk down about a woman’s body size, her figure shape or the amount of flab and dimples she’s donning. I will not poke fun or call names. To me the female body is beautiful in all shapes and sizes. This is not about body size it’s about swimsuit fabric size.

When did baring all become brave?

What happened to respecting yourself enough to not feel the need to share every inch of your beautiful body with everyone else on Earth?

Aside from the fact that I don’t want my three boys gawking at mostly naked, women all summer, I don’t want my baby girl seeing it either.

I don’t want her to correlate confidence with nearly nakedness. I don’t want her to mix up the idea that she has to show the world her body in order to feel good about herself.

She can be brave. She can be smart. She can be the most confident kid at her school without having to sport an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini.

I want my daughter to feel good in her own skin. I want her to know that her body is beautiful and that she is amazing. I want her to walk with her head high, proud that she was created a particular way. I just want her to do it with an adequate sized swimsuit on.