Diggin’ Up Them Holes

I took this picture while my boys were in time out because they kept soaking water into their mud hole after I asked them not to.

I am absolutely convinced that my boys are going to do one of two things this summer: flood my entire home or dig a hole to China.

And I don’t know which one would be worse.

The thing is, my boys love dirt and water. Two things that are seriously going to get them into trouble nearly every day of this summer vacation – unless they learn to stay the heck away from both, or I can learn how to calm the heck down about both.

Because right now, every time I turn around they are digging a giant ditch or pouring water into one of their new concoctions.

My house has been transformed into a paleontology dig/science lab.

One of their latest things is conducting water experiments. Each and every one of our bottles, cans, Tupperwares and cups have been used as beakers. They’ll sneak into the bathroom, pour water, soap, candy, sugar, fruit – you name it – into a bottle to see “what will happen.”

Now I don’t want to crush their scientific imaginations, but when I open the fridge to see a shelf full of half a dozen bottles filled with nasty candy creations, it’s hard not to shut the experiment down.

Several concoctions chilling in our fridge.

A couple of times I have actually knocked one of the mixtures over and the nasty science juice has slimed my fridge’s insides. That’s when I lose it.

They’ve also started making rat “poison” in the back yard. They’ll take metal cans and fill them with dirt, water, grass, clovers – and my favorite – slug heads. Then they’ll stir it up for hours. YUCK! They claim they are perfecting a poison to use on the rat that has been scampering around my parents’ back yard.

On Monday they started dumping the rat “poison” into a new giant hole they were digging in my side flowerbed. They were certain the watery poison was helping soften the ground so they could dig all the way to China before bedtime.

Part of me actually hopes they do dig through Earth’s inner core and pop out on the other side of the planet. They are driving me that crazy. Maybe they’ll be taken in by a kind and loving Asian. Maybe he or she will love letting them dig.

The truth is I don’t mind when they dig, in fact I often let them make craters in my flowerbeds while I am doing yard work. It keeps them busy so I can weed. But I can’t stand when they make a giant mud pie caking themselves – and their clothes – in thick layers of gooey, slimy sludge.

I also can’t stand when they don’t listen to me. Imagine that.

I love that they want to experiment and explore, but why can’t it be in a controlled environment? When I can help them? Why can’t they ask me when they want to fill up bucket after bucket of water? Why can’t they warn me before digging holes up to their elbows and slopping mud all over their nice clothes? They think I won’t notice a two-foot-deep hole in my garden. They think I can’t hear when they turn the outside hose on. I can.

I guess boys will be boys, but I feel like I have completely lost control.

I’ve got to figure out some healthy, happy parent-and-kid friendly ways to let them experiment to their heart’s content. I’m going to scour Pinterest for science experiments and paleontology activities. Let me know if you have any ideas.

I’ve got to make a giant list before we all go crazy.

Meanwhile, if you see a giant mudslide creeping down the hill in my back yard or water pouring from the windows of my home, come rescue me. I may be stuck in the muck or drowning somewhere.