Boogers on the Wall

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One year ago I received a very unique birthday gift – the placement of my son’s headstone.

I don’t know exactly when it was set, but I had been checking regularly for weeks, waiting for the cemetery grounds workers to lay the granite slab. I went to the cemetery by myself early on my birthday, Aug. 3, and found it was finally there.

Now I have hundreds upon hundreds of photos of my oldest two sons first 18 months. But unfortunately I don’t have that many of Luca.

I am truly blessed and lucky to have beautiful, professional photos of my son’s perfect angelic face, but we really only got to see him twice – once at the hospital and once at the funeral home.

Therefore, most of the photos I have of Luca are not of Luca but of things that remind me of Luca. I thought I’d share those photos with you.

Most of the photos are of his little resting place. We try to go there on major holidays or special occasions.

Sometimes when I go I look around at his babyland neighbors and wish I had done more to decorate his tiny headstone. Some parents are so thoughtful and elaborate in their displays.

Other times I am super excited at the way we have remembered our youngest family member throughout the year. Like when we found the candy cane solar lights during the Christmas season.

Now I have written before about how I don’t completely enjoy visiting the cemetery, but despite my reservations, I still want to do something outward to remember him. My two oldest boys love to go too. They feel important as they scrub their brother’s headstone with toothbrushes. It’s a small gesture that makes us feel like we are serving him in some small, strange way.

Now I know that my handful of cemetery-decoration photos does not hold a candle to 18 month’s worth of baby’s-firsts photos, but they’re all I’ve got.

I hope you enjoy!