Boogers on the Wall

Dear Luca,

This spring marks seven years since we have been apart. Seven is usually my lucky number. But when I think about the time I have spent without you here it makes me feel very unlucky.

Seven years??? Time moves on. Time moves quickly. And time allows me to feel more acceptance towards your death. But there are still times I miss you like crazy.

I miss you when we take family pictures.

I miss you when we cuddle on the couch and watch movies as a family.

I miss you when we place decorations on your grave.

I miss you when I see other boys your age running around the neighborhood with your brothers.

I miss you when I hang your stocking, empty, on the tree.

I miss you when I see your Italian name on a sign or book or magazine.

I miss you when I think about our family being complete – it will never feel that way to me.

I miss that you are missing out on all of our crazy adventures.

But most of all, I miss that I am missing out on YOU. What would you have been like?  What would you have laughed like? What would you have looked like? What would have made you cry? What would have made you smile? I have so many questions for you I could go on and on and on. I often daydream about what you are like, I can’t wait to find out someday.

Until then I’ll just miss you…

Love Always,

Mom