Bringing My Baby Home

IMG_1195p8x10Dear Luca,

You finally came into our house this week. Not in the way my heart really wanted you to – running with open four-year-old arms to give your mom a hug – but you’re here now nonetheless.

We’ve lived at our new house for four months and I finally hung your picture – actually I finally hung several of them.

When I opened the box of your things it nearly took my breath away. There you were, pictured perfectly still. My sleeping angel.

Your sweet chubby face framed perfectly. Forever unchanged.

It tore open my heart to place your hand and foot molds into our curio cabinet next to the one and only outfit you wore. I could still smell you in the fabric.

But I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I finally got around to making your presence more physical. Because heaven knows your presence always surrounds me – pictures, keepsakes or not.

Now you’re in my home again. I’m glad I could bring you here. Not in the way I dream of – I still can’t hold you, read you stories or kiss you goodnight. But you’re here nonetheless.

Until I can be with you for real,

Mom

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