Boogers on the Wall

Confession: Sometimes I don’t have time for my children.

I want to. I just don’t.

The tasks at hand tear me away from them and I end up telling them empty phrases like, “I can help you after…” or “Just let me finish…”

I’m embarrassed. I’m disappointed in myself and I wonder if I’m the only mom who feels this way.

Am I the only mom who has to fill her time with laundry, dishes, grocery shopping and checkbook balancing? Are there other moms out there who have to schedule doctor appointments, clean the bathroom and change the sheets on the beds?

The list goes on and on for me. I could fill my entire day with “I can help you afters” and all I’d end up with is a whole bunch of empty nevers.

I’ve got to start letting other things go so I can let the important things go.

That’s what I did this Sunday. And it was liberating.

The first snow fell at our house and there was maybe an inch of white, wet packing skiff on our lawn when we woke up.

I was tired – I stayed up way too late the night before (thank you daylight savings) and I needed to get things ready for church.

But my boys were hypnotized by the white fluffy stuff. They bundled themselves up – without my help – and headed out our front door just after 8 a.m. I was nice and warm and comfy in my home working on getting things ready.

That’s when I heard the laughter. They were having a blast – without me.

I looked out the window and my 7-year-old was rolling up his very own snowman. What? I was missing this!

I whipped out my bright pink snow pants, bundled up the baby and we headed outside. Yes, we did it. It was before 9 a.m. It was cold. I had a million other things to do and yet I set it all aside to spend time with my boys.

And it was great!

We rolled up what little snow there was to make two small snowmen. Then we headed into the backyard to fly down our tiny hill on our sleds.

You should have heard my baby squeal each time we landed at the bottom. He loved it. And you should have seen him try to waddle around while wearing his puffy snowsuit.

My oldest two kept trying to pack the snow and throw fist-sized snowballs at me. Then they got brave enough to try to scoot down the hill snowboarder style. They’d fall and we’d all laugh. (Until I made them stop because I was worried they’d get hurt.)

We stayed outside for a little more than an hour. Not long at all. But long enough.

When we came back home from church that afternoon, all of the snow on our lawn had melted except the snow on our snowmen.

There stood our two white roly poly snowmen surrounded by a sea of green grass. That’s when I thanked myself for taking the time – even when I didn’t think I had it – to play outside in the snow with my boys.

It made me realize that I can fill my whole day, my whole month, my whole year with chores and obligations. Meanwhile all the fun and memories melt away.

I’m going to make an effort to put my boys first. They truly are the most important things to me. I need to make more time for them, before all the time melts away.