Boogers on the Wall

A couple of months ago my 3-year-old told me my butt was starting to look pregnant. After laughing about that for a little while, I realized he was right. I had forgotten how big my backside can balloon when I’m expecting.

Let’s just say I am going to avoid sideways glances of my profile in full body mirrors for the next several months. In fact, I took down and got rid of the long mirror in my hallway when we repainted our house. I don’t think I will get a new one until at least October.

Now I try not to ever complain about my pregnancy. I am lucky and grateful to be carrying this little boy. But there are a few other humorous, embarrassing and down right uncomfortable parts of pregnancy I had completely forgotten. (It’s probably a good thing I don’t remember these things until I am once again in the thick of things.)

Since I know a BUNCH of women who are currently expecting, I figured I would dedicate today’s blog post to the forgettable “joys” of pregnancy. Here are a few other things I had blissfully forgotten.

Feel free to add to my list in the comments below.

1. Sneeze-peeing: Whenever I feel a twitch in my nose I have to stop what I am doing, cross my legs and bend over. It may look ridiculous but if I don’t, I will lose control — literally.

2. Angled-sleeping: Hello heartburn. Hello tilted, propped-up, three-pillows-under-my-neck sleeping. No matter what side I lay on my throat fills with acid the minute I lie down and I can’t swallow my heartburn. I’m considering sleeping in a recliner.

3. Extremity-swelling: This past weekend my fingers sausaged out just enough to make me panic when I couldn’t get my wedding ring off. You would think that after having two of my boys in July I would remember my bulging extremities; remember the way my ankles resembled those of an elephant.  But somehow I had forgotten how it feels to puff all up.

4. Zombie-living: I have to admit I remembered being tired while pregnant. But I didn’t remember exactly how it felt to have all of my energy zapped from my “normal” self and thrust straight to the growing child in my womb. Trying to stay awake while nodding off has to be one of the most helpless feelings.

What don’t you miss about expecting?