The Prenatal Screening Debate

22 Feb 2012 1 Comment

by Natalie in Pregnant After a Loss Tags: , ,

I was outraged this week when I heard a news story about Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s opposition to prenatal testing.

I saw a story Tuesday morning on the Today show that said he was opposed to the portion of Obama’s health care law that would require free prenatal screening to insured individuals. His reason for opposition? That screening would lead to more abortions.

Excuse me? As a mother of a stillborn baby who is now pregnant again, knowledge is power. I want to know everything I can about my unborn son. Just ask the ultra sound technician I had last week. She was annoyed by never ending questions  — specifically those about my unborn son’s umbilical cord.

I understand that there may be others who don’t share my opinion. That there may be some tragic cases where a mother hears the results of her prenatal screenings and determines to terminate her fetus. But opposing a healthcare plan that requires those services be free of charge is ridiculous.

A CBS article states that Santorum said he was specifically talking about amniocentesis when discussing his oppositions to prenatal testing.

I would like to think that all forms of prenatal screening enable doctors and staff to know how to aid in the delivery of babies with special needs.

I would like to think that prenatal screening would allow a mother to prepare mentally and physically, before delivery, for a baby that will require special attention.

At first I gave Santorum the benefit of the doubt, thinking he didn’t know what it was like to lose a baby. Then I stumbled across an article that said his wife delivered one of their sons at 20 weeks. That little baby lived only 2 hours.

Santorum and his wife were alerted early on in the pregnancy that something was wrong and that the fetus would not live long.  Would he have rather not known that something was wrong with his unborn child, but find out suddenly when his wife went into premature labor?

No prenatal screenings could have told me that my baby would die at 37 weeks. And yet I wish they could have. Maybe that would have given me time to wrap my mind around carrying an angel. Maybe I would have lied in bed with my hands on my bare belly when he was active at night just so I could feel as close as possible to my unborn, living Luca.

I read an article recently of a family that found out their unborn baby would not live. They chose to help it “live” the best they could while it was in the womb. I love that article and their inspiring attitude. (https://www.deseretnews.com/article/695257510/When-A-Birth-Is-Also-A-Death.html)

I wish I would have made an effort to help Luca “live.” I guess we should never take any life for granted, no matter how short — and regardless of our prenatal screening results.

No Cookie Dough Love

16 Feb 2012 6 Comments

by Natalie in Cooking/Attempting to Cook, Failed Housewife, Parenting Battles, What's a mom to do? Tags: , , , ,

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I love making sugar cookies and I love my boys. But I do not love making sugar cookies with my boys.

That is one more activity I am going to add to my I-wish-I-had-the-patience-to-do-that-with-my-kids list.

I have tried a few times to make yummy treats with my little ones’ “help.” But it never happens the way I think it should. The way I daydream it will. I guess it’s too much to ask a 3 and 5 year old to whip out their Martha Stewart skills.

My sons have no sense of order. No sense of tidiness. And when it comes to making cookies I swear they think our kitchen has transformed into an evil scientist’s lab. Either that or a Playdoh making factory – especially when we get to the cooking cutting part.

Last Sunday I decided to make heart-shaped Valentine’s cookies with the boys. It was going to be a great reverent Sunday afternoon bonding experience.

Yeah right.

We hadn’t been cooking five minutes before the first splash of flour rained down on my recently mopped kitchen floor and the stress sunk in. Our reverent activity turned into a nagfest as I tried to control them as they dumped ingredients into the Kitchen-Aid bowl.

Things only got worse when we started rolling out dough. I turned my back for a split second and they shoved their hands into the can of flour. I turned back around to a puffy white cloud and four pint-sized flour mountains on top of their “cookies.”

That’s when I lost it. I yelled at them for making a huge mess. All of a sudden our “fun” family activity had taken a turn for the worse.

My husband offered to help the boys finish. I am sure he could tell I was nearing a breaking point. But I was too stubborn to stop our fun-filled activity.

I had a giant ball of dough to roll out, cut and then bake and I realized my children weren’t going to be any “help.” So I gave up on getting their help. I gave up on keeping order.

I gave each of them a ball of dough and let them have at it. They rolled and cut and mixed who knows what into their dough samples for a long time. They each made their own “delicious” cookie filled with all kinds of goodies and topped with cherry fruit snacks.

Giving up on the perfect cookie-making experience did wonders for my nerves but it was a devastating for my poor, innocent kitchen. When we were finished I swept up an inch of flour from off of the floor.

I have fond memories of rolling out dough and helping my mom make treats. Those memories don’t include my mom ever yelling at me for the dough sticking to the table or for flour getting on the floor. How did she do it? How did she keep her cool? We always had a great time. I am worried my children won’t have any memories like that. I wish I were more patient.

I think a lot of times I set my expectations far too high. I should have realized that making cookies with two little boys was going to be disastrous.

Maybe someday I’ll be ready to try making sugar cookies with them again. But probably not until I can get on some anti-anxiety meds.

Heaven on Earth

09 Feb 2012 1 Comment

by Natalie in Dealing with Death, My Angel Baby

There’s something about the beach that draws me near to heaven and my little one who is waiting for me there. 

Our family has been to San Clemente, California, three times since I buried my baby in April 2010, and each time I could have sworn he was right beside me sitting on the sand.

I can’t explain it and can’t put my finger on why it happens there.

I know it’s not the wetness of the water. I rarely dip my toes in. It’s always too cold and slimy for me. And it’s definitely not the sand. After an afternoon on the beach I’m crawling with the itchy stuff and can’t brush it off fast enough.

Maybe it’s the vastness of the ocean that makes me feel like a tiny speck on this planet and helps me put things into perspective. Or the cadence of the waves that methodically reminds me that my life here is but a small moment – a blink of an eye.

Both confirm to me the existence of a higher plan. That life is much more than my mortal journey.

Both help me find a tiny piece of comfort in the loss of my baby boy. The beach revives a sense of trust I have in my Maker and my commitment to him.

I’ve got to find a way to make it back to California regularly. The feeling is so peaceful there I wish I could bottle it up in a seashell and take it home with me.

Take That Turkey

02 Feb 2012 2 Comments

by Natalie in Cooking/Attempting to Cook, Failed Housewife

It’s no secret that I struggle in the kitchen. I set off the smoke alarm every time I make French toast or pancakes. So I was probably being a little ambitious when I decided to try cooking a turkey.

Right before Christmas I saw a killer deal on turkeys at my local store. I rummaged through the pile of frozen birds and found the smallest 97-cents-per-pound one that I could see. I took it home and chucked it in my freezer.

I thawed it out a few weeks later and got ready to put it in my Crock Pot. But no matter how I arranged it, it was not going to fit. At least three inches of the bird’s backside was still sticking out the top.

Not only did the turkey not fit in my pot, I couldn’t find the giblet packet. The instructions said it would be by the gravy pouch, but they were nowhere near each other. No matter how many times I peeked inside that naked bird, I couldn’t see it.

So the giblets were still inside and I had nowhere to cook my turkey. I found a broiler pan in the drawer under my oven and decided to try to cook it on that. I was going to cook the turkey all day in my Crock Pot, but it only needed to cook a few hours in my oven. So I cleaned everything out of my fridge’s bottom shelf and stuck the pan and the bird in there to stay cool.

When it came time to throw it in the oven I didn’t have an oven bag so I poured some sautéed celery and onions on top and brushed some vegetable oil all over the turkey’s skin.

I was scared to death that we would cut it open and “poof” it would be hollow like the one on National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. So every 45 minutes I opened the oven door and brushed more oil on top.

Success! Several hours later it was done and it was juicy. My husband even found the giblet packet. It was near the turkey’s rear, not front.

Those burnt looking things on top are the onions that I used to season the bird. And no, we did not eat those.

My family had a great turkey dinner and we ate sandwiches for days.

But the best part about my turkey turning out was the fact that I was able to use the cooked meat for two other main dishes. I made Creamy Chicken (Turkey) Noodle soup and Chicken (Turkey) Enchiladas from the leftovers. Two of our family’s favorite meals! I’ve included the recipes below if you want to try them.

The turkey-cooking success was a step in the right direction. I’m not ready to cook prime rib or anything, but I am getting better. I just need to keep trying.

What have you made lately that has been delicious?

Here are the recipes for the soup and enchiladas. I got them from two of my best friends who really do know how to cook .

Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients:
2 quarts water
5 chicken bouillon cubes
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 cup sour cream
3 cups cooked cubed chicken
celery and carrots (as much as you like)
1 box of mini farfale (butterfly) pasta noodles or a bag of egg noodles

Instructions:
Chop celery, carrots, misc. Boil vegetables with the water for the pasta noodles. Cook the noodles in the water with the vegetables as directed on their box. Then put 2 quarts of water in a different pan with bouillon cubes until cubes dissolve. Then add cream of chicken soup and sour cream. Drain the noodles and vegetables and add them too.

Chicken Enchiladas

Sour Cream
1 can Cream of Chicken Soup
Milk
Onion
Small can of chopped green chilies
Tortillas

Take about one cup or so of sour cream and mix it with a can of cream of chicken soup and a small can of chopped green chilies. Pour a small amount of milk in until it is creamy. Take a tortilla, line the middle with a small amount of the sauce, a handful of chicken and some cheese. Roll it into an enchilada shape then put in a baking dish. When you have used up all of the chicken, take the remaining sauce and pour it over the top of the enchiladas. Sprinkle the top with cheese.

Bake at 375 for 45-60 minutes.